I honestly thought that after John Carver, things could not get any worse (unless joke kannier came back).

Alan Pardew infuriated me by playing people out of position constantly (Santon is right-back, right-mid any day), but Johnny…

Oh my, he literally had no clue and you could tell he won the ‘I don’t believe I am doing this lottery’, the equivalent of me meeting Taylor Swift and marrying her the same day to live in rich bliss.

This brings me to our current puppet.

Gini Wijnaldum is a CAM of amazing ability who in any other team would be knocking them in for fun, but is playing on the wings even though he is at his best drifting in from the middle (***article received before Arsenal when McClaren at last played Wijnaldum in the middle).

Anita, so small and ineffective I just cannot see what he brings to the team.

Le sulk Sissoko… please leave and let us get a proper winger.

Every week we uneducated folk watch and wonder Steve, what’s the plan mate?

Oh 4-2-3-1 again… great. Snore, we lost by…..

So to cheer me up, please find some gallows humour in the mould of the ‘Football’s coming home’ earworm:

‘We’re going down (as many times as you want till you remember..that’s all you can remember!)

‘Three fat bas****s in charge,

‘No hope remaining.

‘Shearer’s full of hurt,

‘His bar got a renaming!

‘Repeat ad infinitum’

Sing this loud and proud until Steve and the FCB get the idea and we get someone who isn’t a failed English manager happy to work with a squad they have no say over…..

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