Back in 1991, when ‘One Foot in the Grave’ was hugely popular, my wife used to point at Victor Meldrew going apoplectic about people putting his car in a skip and say “That’s you, you miserable bugger.”

I felt it was a bit harsh because I was only 31, still had hair and a pretty good outlook on life, despite Newcastle trying to survive in division two by playing an under twelve team. I wonder whatever became of Lee Makel, Alan Neilson and Scott Sloan ?

The thing is, nearly twenty five years later, there are times when almost everything annoys me. I find myself shouting at the telly on far too many occasions, at almost everyone and everything.

And nothing irritates me more than football. Silly things get right under my skin, like those little metal bugs in ‘The Mummy’.

Such as:

Wigan, Hull and Swansea in Europe

All these have played in Europe in the last three years, therefore my irritation is based on nothing more than pure jealousy.

Half of me wants to be pleased for the fans of these clubs whose trophy cabinets make ours look like Real Madrid, but their involvement in Europe just reminds me of what we had not that long ago.

Countless seasons of trips across the channel to take on Barcelona, Juventus, Inter and of course Hapoel bnei Sakhin.

Looking back from 2015, these were truly halcyon days in our club’s history,  which I worry may not come around again.

West Ham and the Olympic Stadium

Now I am no financial expert, as my bloody 4% five year fixed rate mortgage proves, but are they paying any money for this stadium? Like Man City ten years ago, it can’t be right that they can benefit hugely in this way when clubs like ours have spent a fortune upgrading our own ground.

I think it is going to give West Ham a huge advantage, which will allow them to compete for a top seven place on a regular basis, which if I put my extremely positive head on, will make them direct rivals with us.

Sorry, my medication is making me giddy again. I must remember it’s one pill four times, not four pills one time.

Football on the telly

I’m just too tight to bring myself to pay for the ultimate footballing experience of a Sky & BT football package, so that means I don’t see that many  live games anymore.  But even if I did, I wouldn’t have the problem that goes with the kick-off times.

But what about away fans?   Bournemouth at 12:45 hrs?  That really is ridiculous. The sport could and should subsidise all away fans and it would not make a dent in the obscene profits being made.

To the 1000+ who travelled to the south coast, you have my utmost respect.  That is loyalty beyond reason.

Every other team, fans and pundits in England

I just find the hypocrisy that comes from the various TV, radio and fans forums hard to take.

Yesterday I was listening to WBA fans going to town on Pulis, about the negative sterile football his club play and virtually to a man they wanted him gone.  Talk Sport agreed, because what’s the point of existing in the premier league, if you only play not to lose. Of course when we were saying things like that about Fat Samuel and Pardew, we were delusional Geordies.

Rodgers has been bombed out of Liverpool, for the crime of not making the top four. That’s a good move say the pundits and the fans had a right to bring about change.  Of course when we complained about our last Manager, we were delusional Geordies

Arsenal are top of the bloody league, but because they get turned over by the best team in Europe, many fans see that as yet more proof why Wenger should be  gone.

What the ****  is that about ?

And finally, I come to the most irritating thing going, Newcastle United

Momentum is everything but the Newcastle engine is spluttering. It may burst into life or it may be about to die.

At the minute I think it really is a toss of a coin which way it will go. We do have talent and the ability in that team to comfortably survive this season but the fragility is also very evident.

A few wins and confidence will surge through them but we also know that we could easily get turned over by Leicester and Palace.

The next four games will dictate our season. If we go into the Villa game this time next month in the bottom three,  I am afraid we will be in for a very  very bumpy ride.

Newcastle United in another relegation battle, surviving by the skin of our teeth?

I don’t bloody believe it.

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