Lee Charnley has been preparing his next email to be sent to Newcastle fans.
I am not at liberty to say how it came to be in my possession but I felt duty bound to share it with you in advance of it being sent out by the club.
Here are the latest words from our glorious leader:
Things are now very much on the up for Newcastle United.
I would like to register my personal thanks to Mike Ashley for his help and support as I have turned the club around with his backing.
I feel that there are very exciting and successful times ahead as the club grows ever stronger under my leadership.
It is now well over a week since the first team last tasted defeat and even that was a great day for the club, as the Newcastle players dominated the champions-elect for over 40 minutes.
The second-half saw the form dip slightly against Manchester City but as they say it was a game of two halves and we nearly won one of them, so that is Champions League form in many people’s eyes.
Whilst the injury to Tim Krul was a negative, the great news is that our exciting third choice keeper who we couldn’t give away in the summer, Rob Elliot, will now get a chance to show us what he can do.
Elsewhere, Moussa Sissoko has once again shown great loyalty to Newcastle United by lasting 24 hours without saying how much he’d like to play for a ‘big Champions League club’, a great tribute to his belief in what we are trying to achieve at NUFC.
Whilst there are one or two injuries at the moment, you have to accept that the decision to indefinitely postpone the building of new state of the art facilities at the Training groundthis summer was the right decision, at least four first team players have avoided injury so far this season.
I’m pleased to say that Steve McClaren has done everything expected of him so far, I have been particularly impressed that he has not publicly mentioned how ridiculous it was that we handed him another French winger rather than the left-back and another centre-half that were desperately needed.
I strongly believe that managers should be seen and not heard, especially when it comes to buying and selling players. Managers should get on with what they are paid to do and leave it to the expertise of those of us who know what we are doing in the transfer windows.
We were very lucky to land Steve McClaren from the dole queue after he had been sacked by Championship outfit Derby County, a man with an impressive Premier League pedigree – who can forget that one season when he got Middlesbrough into a top half finish.
Our commitment to communicating and listening to the supporters is unmatched by any other club.
As well as these pointless propaganda emails that we send to you, our Fans Forum continues to show the way to others as to how to show respect and openness to the supporters.
The fact that we hand pick which fans take part, unlike less enlightened clubs who let supporters vote for their representatives, means we have a much healthier and controlled debate without any of that awkward democracy thing, plus we have shown our even-handedness by banning the Newcastle United Supporters Trust as well as any journalists and newspapers who say something we don’t like.
The appointment of motivational coach Steve Black has also proved a great success, after Queens Park Rangers benefited so much from his input last season, we feel lucky to have the bonus of his motivational powers. With three draws already in the Premier League, nobody can disagree that this isn’t working.
The new pledge to win a cup has started in great fashion, the team having already scored four goals and conceded only two in cup competitions this season.
The only small fly in the ointment was the defeat by Sheffield Wednesday reserves, though to be fair nobody expected them to put such a strong team out, featuring only 10 changes from their previous Championship match.
I feel confident that Mike Ashley’s five year plan is now finally showing what a success club can be, when it has an ambitious long-range underlying set of principles underpinning it.
By the end of this season we really feel that this club will be where it deserves to be…
Howay the Toon Army.
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