My daughter has just asked me for an ice cream cos it is so hot.

Obviously I didn’t get her one straight away but said I’d wait until all of my bills had gone out of my account.

I would then meet with her mother to discuss the options open to us.

I would then hold another meeting to discuss the best course of action and if the ice cream would have a sell on value.

Finally, I will offer the ice cream man half of the price he wants.

If he wishes to turn me down then I’m sure my daughter will understand.

Perhaps I could give her some water instead. Tap water, obviously.

Meanwhile, all the other kids in the street are really enjoying their ice creams.

Still, that one pound in the bank is probably the equivalent of a couple of million when you’re a multi billionaire, so I know how good it feels too Mr Ashley.

I will also continue to invest in her upbringing.

(ED: This was originally left by GToon in the comments section on another article but I’m sure you’ll agree it deserved wider exposure)