It’s time to stop all of the back biting, the criticism and the comments about a certain someone’s weight and the marital state of his parents.

If we can’t, it’s time to get some prozac or let me hypnotise you.

(To feature like Michael, send in your articles for our website to [email protected])

Now breathe deeply. Are you under…

Calm and relaxed. Now listen.

Newcastle United have been rescued from dodgy management and leadership from McKeag, McFaul, Dalglish, Shepherd & co and from millions of pounds of debt.

We are now 38 million in credit. Our stadium capacity is now 52k and we even have a little telly on one side.

We have a young team with some exciting prospects.

A new manager and a revamped board of directors.

We presently have a grip on all areas of the club including players wages and contracts.

The only difference is instead of Evening Chronicle, Greenalls brewery and Newcastle breweries adverts, you are going to have to tolerate Wonga and Sports Direct….oh but the £90 trainers your kid wants are now only £25 due to the Newcastle United owner.

Who just so happens to be one of the richest men in Britain that refuses to sell the club at any price until we have won something, or achieved European football.

Ok breathe deeply.  1 2 3…you may wake up now.

Everything I have said is completely true.

You are very happy supporters.  All negativity is forgotten. All of the suffering has made us stronger.

Happy days are round the corner.  Woooohoooo!

Let’s have a season like no other.

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