Thursday brought news that injury plagued Siem de Jong was ruled out yet again from being involved in the first team.

This time he misses the visit of West Brom to St. James’ Park.

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The Dutchman says that his latest scan revealed he wasn’t injured, this time it is a case of him just not feeling strong enough.

Siem de Jong:

“I’m not injured again, I’m just not strong enough yet. I hope to train again next week and help the team as much as I can the last games.

“I’ve tried to come back as soon as possible after 2 heavy operations. I wish I could have done more!”

However, the following confidential information has been passed to me, detailing the medical specialist’s advice to Siem de Jong to try and ensure he doesn’t over stretch himself on the comeback trail.

Ten crucial guidelines for Siem de Jong to follow:

Check it isn’t windy before leaving the house

Avoid large crowds of people

Don’t walk on cobbled streets

Under no circumstances kick a football

Use both hands when changing TV channels on the remote

Don’t go outside without scarf, woolly hat and gloves whatever the weather

Avoid walking on grass

No running for the bus

Only attempt walking upstairs after proper stretching/warm-up

Don’t wear heavy clogs

If you feel there are any other dangerous pursuits that the medical specialist forgot to add, please feel free to share them in the comments below.