Mike Ashley has cancelled the club’s end of season awards night, here’s how the end of season awards night should have played out:

Guestlist: Ayoze Perez +1, Daryl Janmaat+2, Jack Colback and Jonas Gutierrez

Only four players deserving to make the guestlist.

(To feature like James, send in your articles for our website to [email protected] – all views those of the author etc etc)

Ayoze Perez’s performances this season have won us so many vital points, the Spaniard allowed to bring one guest, which will probably be his brother who plays for Blyth Spartans, as they go everywhere together.

Daryl Janmaat also makes the guestlist, following a very impressive debut season in the Premier League, filling the void that Mathieu Debuchy created when he headed to Arsenal. The former Feyenoord man became a fan favourite very quickly and he has made the cut for the end of season awards.

Two issues presented themselves to Daryl: does he leave for a better club and which two out of three Dutchmen does he bring to the event? His mate Timmy Krul gets the first slot, and Vurnon Anita reckons he has another way of getting in, so allows Siem De Jong to pick up the other position, providing he’s fit enough.

Jack Colback and Jonas Gutierrez are the only other two players to make it on to the guestlist. Colback has been another shining light in a dark season, with consistent performances at the heart of midfield (except for the few games when he was forced to play left back).

Jonas grabs the final place on the list, due to his inspirational year. Jonas beat cancer, made it back into the Newcastle side, and showed more heart and effort than a lot of his teammates who couldn’t even beat Burnley, never mind cancer. Jonas did ask for +1, so that he could bring his best pal Coloccini, but the club just wouldn’t allow it.

Moussa Sissoko arrived at the event, followed by the lads, Haidara, Gouffran and Anita, telling them he could get them in as he knew the guy on the door. On arrival, Moussa is told he is not on the list to his bewilderment.

“What do you mean I’m not on the list? I’m Moussa Sissoko! I’m good enough for PSG and Arsenal, how can I not be on the list, but that little ginger kid is?!”

Meanwhile, John Carver and his backroom staff managed to sneak in round the back. Many pints later, John was told to leave, as he held Jack Colback in a friendly headlock, telling everyone about how much passion he has for the club and about working for Sir Bobby Robson.

“I’m not leaving, I’m John ‘Newcastle’ Carver. Do you want to fight? I’ll fight you, I’ll fight anyone!”

All in all, another great night for Newcastle United, celebrating the achievements of the 2014/2015 campaign.

You can follow James on Twitter @jrutherford11 

Travel Posters - Tyneside Prints