What does cui bono mean?

No nothing to do with the singer of Irish rock band U2, cui bono is a Latin phrase which roughly translates to ‘who benefits?’ and that is the question which I find myself asking after the last few days of insanity at Newcastle United.

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It seems to me that between them, probably acting on instructions from above, John Carver and Lee Charnley have chosen to take the handbrake off and hurtle towards the relegation trapdoor like Thelma and Louise to the edge of the cliff at the end of their movie.

A record eight defeats in a row, players being sent off left, right and centre, rumours of arguments and fist fights on the coach home from Leicester, and finally a meeting of which the result was basically a decision that nothing needs to change.

So if John and Lee have decided that everything is ok, the staff just need to ‘focus’ a bit more, despite the obvious state of affairs, you do have to wonder what the benefit is of carrying on towards certain doom.

Despite divisions within the fan base, I think we can all agree that we are currently and comfortably the worst team in the entire Premier league by far. We play badly organised pub team style football with players seemingly more intent on getting off the pitch as soon as possible, rather than being open to receiving and using the football.

I also think that we can agree we will certainly rely on the charity and poor form of others if we are to remain in the Premier league, as our own playing staff seem to have decided (no matter what they say) that winning football matches is simply beyond them.

So with all the ingredients in place for return visits to Doncaster and Brighton, all whilst being owned by a man famous for ruthless and swift action if his businesses are in jeopardy (i.e not making him a pile of cash) but seemingly unwilling to take action in our case, you do have to wonder what the deal is.

Here is my theory, and it is just a theory which has perhaps been born of my overactive imagination, but it is a scary one. Simply put I believe that Mike Ashley hates us, every last one of us, and his plan all along was to make the club successful from a profits point of view, before sending it on a kamikaze dive into the Championship and perhaps beyond. You may think that I’m mad, you may question what he would have to gain from this, especially bearing in mind the new massive TV deal, so how do I answer that?

Simply put, after relegation he faces a choice of how to further exercise his hatred and spite. He can choose to reclaim his ‘debt’ (lol), thus sending us into a financial meltdown a la Portsmouth, where he simply strips all assets publicly before declaring the club bankrupt and selling it for a pittance. Or he can sell the club at a value to get his money back (i.e cut down bargain price) to the first mug punter he finds.

As always, the answer to the cui bono question is Mike Ashley, who can drive it home to us stupid jawdees (as those from below the Watford gap say) in a number of ways, all without costing him a penny and safe in the knowledge that he has made some money, ruined the club and he can now move on to doing the same to Rangers, or Oldham, or one of the other Sports Direct subsidiaries on his hit list.

Bluntly, it seems that Newcastle United is about to be ruined beyond immediate repair, you should not fear this as it was inevitable and always likely to happen.

I believe that this has been the owner’s plan for quite some time, but recent events may have forced the schedule forwards a bit, there was talk of summer 2016 but now it will be summer 2015, although it might actually take another year for the thorough demolition to take place before Mr Ashley skips away chuckling to himself.

What better way to get out of the promised major spending than relegation? What better way to keep his pawns in place (Carver and Charnley) than relegation? What better way to drive the club into a position where he can escape with his fortune intact whilst revelling in how he dealt with those Mugpies who dared to sing daft songs about him.

It will soon be over so far as Mike Ashley is concerned, of that I am convinced, then the real work begins. The task of rebuilding from the ruins of what he has done here.