I have come up with a Radical new Newcastle United ticket pricing policy for our Dear Leader.

A new ticket pricing system based on performance, a kind of ‘pay as you win’ offer.

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For every game we win, we’ll pay double, say £60 a ticket.

A draw gets the standard price, but if we lose he gets nowt.

If we win by 5 goals or more we’ll pay an extra tenner, but if we lose by 3 goals or more he has to refund us a tenner.

It’s direct debit, so instead of paying for a season ticket at the start of a season the price is totted up at the end or taken on a match-by-match basis, maybe we pay a £50 deposit at the start.

I think this season we’d all have made a bit of cash…

Let’s ask, shy bairns get nowt right?  He likes a gamble…

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