And so another season dribbles pathetically towards a close.

Like a party-goer who started the evening full of hopes and expectations – but now, several hours later, drunk and filthy, makes his lonely way home, creeping up the garden path, trying his best to get through the door and into bed without anyone noticing, and hoping that in the morning everything will be alright after all.

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Not for us the thrill of the chase for titles or for cups. Not for us the tussle for European places. Not for us even the nerve-jangling battle against the drop. Even the ‘Race for 9th’ has proved to be beyond us.

It’s all so dismal. It can’t end soon enough.

I’m writing this before the derby match, and I daresay that might throw up some crumb of comfort, some thrill to see us through the next few months – but I wouldn’t be putting too much money on it.

Perhaps next season we can come to some sort of arrangement with the Premier League to have our season end at Christmas.

Anyway, in the absence of any excitement on the pitch, what do we have to look forward to between now and August? Well, of course, we have a stream of articles and interviews ahead of us – all speculating on the identity of our next manager/head-coach and/or our signings in the summer. Whoopee!

Now, it’s always fun to peer into the unknown future, dreaming about the likely comings and goings. And I don’t suppose I’m alone in looking hungrily through papers and websites for clues from someone in the know about what’s about to happen.

But even there the enjoyment is wearing thin. You see, in Mike Ashley’s world there is one group of people who he treats with even more disdain and contempt than he gives to the average NUFC fan – journalists.

So you can be pretty sure that over the months ahead the hack telling us all about what his ‘sources within the club’ are telling him, is really no better informed about Mr Ashley’s intentions than you, or I, or the next door neighbour’s cat.

In fact, I look through the bookies lists of the favourites for the next manager, and I tend to think that Mr Ashley is as likely to appoint the ghost of Brian Clough as most of the names we see all the time.

But then, where do we look for some entertainment – if we can’t even believe the stream of “Exclusives” and “Scoops” and “Breaking News”. Well, like campers stuck inside a tent on a wet weekend in the Lake District, we have to make our own entertainment.

So, roll-up, roll-up – for Pointless Speculation Bingo!

Fun for all the family, from 8 to 80.

It’s simple. All you have to do is draw a little box, 3 x 3, write in these nuggets, and then when you read a bit of Pointless Speculation see how many boxes you can fill in:

  • “Sources within the club are saying…”
  • “At age XX he does/doesn’t fit the club’s recruitment blueprint.”
  • “…but he is also interesting scouts from ManCity/Chelsea/Liverpool/etc”
  • “…he would be able to work within the club’s Continental structure”
  • “due diligence”
  • “his current contract expires at the end of…”

I’ve left a few blanks – you can fill in some personal favourites of your own!

One of mine at the moment is ‘Picture of a French gadgie looking a bit like Gary Speed’ (you see, it can even be a multi-media experience).

So there you go.

Eyes down for a Full House!!

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