Same as it ever was.

I recently caught Mick Quinn talking about a game he played in, way back in 1991. You may be able to guess which one. It immediately had me heading to ‘youtube’ for some nostalgia.

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If it was possible to sum up Newcastle United in just one game, then our Zenith Data Systems cup match against Tranmere would be it.

Tranmere 6 Newcastle 6. The match was entertaining, dramatic and shambolic all at the same time. And in the great scheme of things it was also a pretty pointless game of football.

It was the familiar tale of a team who are able to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

At the time of this match I was working in Northern Ireland and can remember watching the game, sitting with some mates in a very smoky and extremely dubious bar.

Back then, matches live on the telly were still a rare event, with Sky very much the junior player in the market. However, such was my desire for NUFC to win any trophy of any sorts; this tin pot trophy really mattered to me. Hence I was prepared to sit in a bar where I really should not have been.

The fact that we managed to score six and still lose(on penalties) was just typical of the club then and  typical of us now. Nothing ever changes.  The dictionary definition of this club should simply be ‘permanent crisis’.

Anyone who thinks that the defence of Newcastle in 2015 is crap, please go and watch  Mr Bradshaw and  Mr Scott try and fail miserably to stop every attack ending up as a goal.

As we trudged back to our accommodation, my foul mood had my two mates totally perplexed, but as they were supporters of Liverpool and Celtic, who at the time seemed to win a trophy every other week, why would they have any idea of the pain and suffering that went with being a Newcastle fan.

Pain is what we do.  It’s always been torture.

I used to think that modern Premier League football is crap and it’s not like the good old days, but who am I trying to kid?

It’s just like the old days. Apart from the top three or four teams in any season, the rest of the league is made up with some bog average teams, playing bog average football. The real reason old time football was ten times better than the dross we are watching now is very simple. In 1991, I was 24 years younger.

When you are young, life is literally black and white. Your opinion is always right and anyone who disagrees with you is a half-witted oaf.

If you were Prime Minister, you could change the world with half a dozen policies. I mean what can be so difficult about running the NHS or balancing the deficit. The 30 Year old me had the answer to everything.

Trouble is, while a couple of mates have gone on to become very rich men, I will be working until I am 70. I guess I don’t have the right answers to everything after all!

That frame of mind is also how you see your football club.  What can be so difficult about making Newcastle United a top 3 team on a regular basis.  Let’s get Peter Griffin (Family Guy) out , replace him with a Geordie consortium, turn the club into the Barcelona of the north and there you have it, glorious times.

Oh, we have tried that already have we?  Then why didn’t it work? I am afraid it’s because life just isn’t that simple.  If it was, we would not have lost Kevin shortly after stuffing spurs 7-1 and we would have gone on to dominate English football for a decade. Instead we went on to get Dalglish, Gullit, Fatty, JFK. ..

God, what have we done to deserve this?

Anyway, let’s move on to last week. I really hate to say this but the defeat against Sunld hardly registered with me, probably because it seemed so inevitable. When yet another defeat to the mackems doesn’t make you suicidal, it’s an extremely worrying state of affairs.

Once you stop caring, the pain goes away. Another derby defeat doesn’t matter because you have more important things to worry about, such as where to find the £700 for the 20 year old daughter’s bloody car insurance .

How is it being gubbed by Tranmere in a competition no one remembers 25 years ago can still annoy me, yet I can hardly remember how many Everton or Man City stuffed us by last month.

That’s not good.

I really want to care again.