John Carver, what can I say…?

We’d heard it all from him this week, how he had surprises lined up for Sunderland and today was going to be the day.

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It’s like expecting you are going to win the lottery each time you put it on, if you think that you are going to get anything different from the latest ridiculous decision (Carver’s appointment) by Mike Ashley.

I thought I had seen at all with Alan Pardew’s smarmy pre-match press conferences – soft questions clearly vetted by the NUFC press conference and nothing awkward asked about the shambles of previous matches.

John Carver talked a good game but it was the same clueless tactics from him and his clueless backroom staff.

Is there seriously any other Premier League club with such a feeble total of top level management and coaching experience as there is at St. James’ Park?

You could have wrote the script today, in fact several people did on The Mag website this past week!

A 1-0 final scoreline but it was desperate and could & should have been more.

United lined up with Ayoze Perez stranded alone up front, having the thankless task of trying to hassle the opposition back four by himself as the Newcastle midfield were a distance behind him.

The midfield defending so deep they could probably feel Tim Krul’s breath on the back of their necks, no wonder there wasn’t even a vague threat on the mackem goal until the closing stages.

Just like Pardew there wasn’t even a change in personnel or tactics at half-time even though Newcastle were lucky to be only one down to Jermain Defoe’s stunning goal just before the break.

Just like Pardew it was a case of wait until the hour mark and then make an unispired substitution of bringing Riviere on for Gouffran.

I can honestly say that I had totally forgotten that this waste of space was actually on the pitch.

Just like Pardew there was zero urgency until a bit of a charge in the final five minutes and even that was probably more due to the mackems retreating to try and make sure of the win. In truth they should have been out of sight well before then.

Poor Adam Armstrong is then brought on with only three minutes left and John carver doesn’t even use his third sub, no doubt trying to make sure that they only kept it to a one goal defeat.

Two wins in thirteen matches, surely even Mike Ashley can do the maths of what that would mean over a season…