Moussa Sissoko, Fabricio Coloccini, Jack Colback and Daryl Janmaat are all expected to be fit for the visit to Chelsea thanks to the Newcastle medics.

John Carver and everybody else were gutted all of Newcastle’s best players had to miss the ‘vital’ FA Cup match at Leicester through injury, with the exception of Ayoze Perez who is feeling better after missing out for a lie down.

ayoze perezNow the local press say all five should be in contention for the starting eleven against Chelsea, with Tim Krul’s return to training on Monday meaning United could have their six best players back in the team at Stamford Bridge….and Yoan Gouffran.

This medical miracle has left experts bewildered and led to calls for United’s medical staff to be transferred en masse to the NHS, which would lead to a predicted halving of waiting lists for the general public.

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Other Premier League players have also said that they are impressed by the expected return of the Newcastle United team.

Arsenal’s Alexis Sanchez can’t believe that Ayoze Perez could possibly be fit enough for Chelsea after such a tiring season. The young Spaniard will be starting his fourteenth (incl one for Spanish Under 21s) game of the season if selected (and fit enough…) to start at Chelsea.

Sanchez himself has only started 34 matches this season so far, including six for Chile as well as Champions League competition, with all the attendant travelling involved.

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