'The Name Is Pardew...'

Being the complete footballing saddo I a m, I always sit down and watch sky sports on a Saturday morning to catch up with team selections for my fantasy football team, while at the same time listen to all the pre-match managerial interviews for the weekend…happy days!

As soon as I switched on the tele this morning they’re talking with Harry and Pards,the timing couldn’t have been better cos we’re shooting out early today for a wedding.

Harry starts by saying the toon are in no danger this year even though QPR will beat us today (typical tongue in cheek Redknapp) but the real surprise came when Pardew says, “We’re in good form right now so very confident we’ll get a result today!”

Unfortunately, for me I was mid-sip of a monster cup of tea mixed in with a slice of hangover toast as he said that, the cat is now suffering third degree burns and has spent the last hour licking all the bits of toast out of its fur.

I went back in the kitchen, got another cup of tea, put some more toast in the toaster and then sat down again and turned on the computer to look at the Newcastle united blogs I like to read.

The cat’s now decided to sit outside in the rain cos it’s a lot safer than sitting within ten yards of me with tea and toast on the go, staring at me loud and proud was a huge headline…

NEWCASTLE BOSS PARDEW SETS SEVEN POINT FESTIVE TARGET!!!

I opened it up and couldn’t believe me eyes. Pardew goes on to say…

“But I have four Premier League games and a FA Cup tie to get through without them. We need one, maybe two wins, which would be six or seven points out of that. This is what we need to aim for.”

Happy days! 7 points from the next four games and we’ll be right back up there challenging for Europe again. All we have to do is beat QPR today, then beat either Arsenal or Man U away or beat those relegation pushovers Everton at home and then get a draw from one of the rest…easy peasy when you look at it look like that!

At least Man U, Everton and Arsenal fans will be laughing

How many points do you think we’ll get from those 4 games?

Best Odds on today’s matchNUFC To Win 23/20Ba To Score 2 Or More Goals 6/1NUFC To Lead At HT and FT 12/5

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9 comments
Jimmywayhay
Jimmywayhay

He's a gambler who plays the percentages ,no investment players sold players loaned out ,etc all accountancy tactics to make maximum profit ,if it comes off ,he's quids in ,if not ,a one season return to the premiership .He nearly paid the price last season with this buisness plan and hasn't changed his policies ,this could be the season the percentages are wrong !

Stephen Richards
Stephen Richards

35-40000 max yesterday after boycotting the spurs game myself I was shocked to see how many people hadn't bothered

toon tony
toon tony

Oops. ..saw a picture of Jabba the Hutt and thought it was an advert for the new Star Wars film.

A lex
A lex

Yes. For some reason, some people call him thick-skinned. In reality, he is anything but - the slightest bit of 'anti' stuff, and he hides or throws his toys out.

Demented_Man
Demented_Man

@A lex Yes - I've no idea why people think he's such a hard man.


A southern powder puff, and nothing more.

Pulse33
Pulse33

Most surprising thing is that we managed 4 points

Bearsize
Bearsize

Hmm i figured mike was hiding as per, join the boycott against him? Have i missed the sarcasm here? Hope so