'The Name Is Pardew...'

Being the complete footballing saddo I a m, I always sit down and watch sky sports on a Saturday morning to catch up with team selections for my fantasy football team, while at the same time listen to all the pre-match managerial interviews for the weekend…happy days!

As soon as I switched on the tele this morning they’re talking with Harry and Pards,the timing couldn’t have been better cos we’re shooting out early today for a wedding.

Harry starts by saying the toon are in no danger this year even though QPR will beat us today (typical tongue in cheek Redknapp) but the real surprise came when Pardew says, “We’re in good form right now so very confident we’ll get a result today!”

Unfortunately, for me I was mid-sip of a monster cup of tea mixed in with a slice of hangover toast as he said that, the cat is now suffering third degree burns and has spent the last hour licking all the bits of toast out of its fur.

I went back in the kitchen, got another cup of tea, put some more toast in the toaster and then sat down again and turned on the computer to look at the Newcastle united blogs I like to read.

The cat’s now decided to sit outside in the rain cos it’s a lot safer than sitting within ten yards of me with tea and toast on the go, staring at me loud and proud was a huge headline…

NEWCASTLE BOSS PARDEW SETS SEVEN POINT FESTIVE TARGET!!!

I opened it up and couldn’t believe me eyes. Pardew goes on to say…

“But I have four Premier League games and a FA Cup tie to get through without them. We need one, maybe two wins, which would be six or seven points out of that. This is what we need to aim for.”

Happy days! 7 points from the next four games and we’ll be right back up there challenging for Europe again. All we have to do is beat QPR today, then beat either Arsenal or Man U away or beat those relegation pushovers Everton at home and then get a draw from one of the rest…easy peasy when you look at it look like that!

At least Man U, Everton and Arsenal fans will be laughing

How many points do you think we’ll get from those 4 games?

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10 comments
DownUnderMag
DownUnderMag

Think it is taking longer than expected to iron out the kinks, specifically getting the players used to actually playing football again rather than Pardew's patented hoofball!

It's also worth noting that we are playing completely silly lineups.  The defence against York will be nothing like it will be against Southampton come opening day.  It definitely shows our lack of quality in depth,but when you look at it, we had no Colocini, Taylor, Krul, Sissoko, Gini, Colback or Cisse playing and i'm pretty sure De jong, Aarons and Mitrovic are all just playing to get fitness levels back to where they need to be.  

If we get Mbemba on board and perhaps another defender and a creative player (or another link up forward) I suspect we will have a reasonable first choice team for the season.  

The vast majority of fans also need to realise this is a rebuild season, and that three players aren't going to suddenly see us vying for the title. 

PhilYare
PhilYare

if people dont think this is alarming they are clueless. pre-season games are an excellent indicator of how you are going to start the season... at the moment we are arent better than lower league sides

Nic Mayer
Nic Mayer

I wouldn't risk our big names at York two weeks from the start of the season

mactoon
mactoon

He can use this fixture to see players he hasn't seen in a game situation. He is new to the club and doesn't know what his squad can do. I can't see any problem with playing fringe players and Mitrovic before the weekend game when he can play a stronger 11 close to the ones he will start with. What is the problem?

PhilYare
PhilYare

@mactoon but york city are in the same situation in their preperations yet they can still easily beat us. everyone is trying out new players, formations etc but we keep losing - problem

1957
1957

Another non story telling us things we already know, mainly Carver was an idiot.

But seriously clubs often play 3 games in a week at the end of pre season, it's about giving as many players as possible game time with the intention of sending as near to your best team out in the final one.

geordiedave53
geordiedave53

Its a good idea to play fringe players, especially in a friendly gives McClaren another chance to asses everybody

Hughie
Hughie

Stupid article once again. Mclaren and co are still assessing players, and particularly some of those underused or not tried by the previous managers/coaches. Some people want to latch onto the least glimmer of negativity!! Give up John and stick to the day job if you've got one!!

Artie Fufkin
Artie Fufkin

More whining, they are playing games to get match fitness for the whole squad. Man u & Chelsea are still in the US, still playing the whole squad over there. 


The people who write this have seemingly never seen a pre-season game not played any level of football

jimblag
jimblag

Why didn't SM just play reserves and a few sub appearances for first teamers against sheff United to rest them then play a stronger team tonight? It probably isn't ideal but there's no point in blaming what can't be changed. JC is an idiot but we should just be glad he can't inflict further damage upon us.