HarryRedknapp3As we managed to fall over the line to a 1-0 ‘win’ over QPR its got to be said that was one of the worst games of football I have ever seen in my whole life.

Caused by mainly two things;

a) QPR being one of the worst teams that have ever shown up at St James’ Park and

b) Our defensive starting line up.

Those two miserable things cancelled each other out into an insufferable bore fest that would kill anyone’s Christmas spirit no matter how jolly they were feeling prior to kick off.

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But this kind of performance from us on our own patch against a completely inferior side is no surprise whatsoever to all of us, or it shouldn’t be, it’s a typical Alan Pardew performance which we have come to expect in his 2 years here as manager. We didn’t exactly ‘win’ that game on Saturday afternoon but just managed to get the ball into their net on that bare minimal occasion, as the opposition had no chance of doing the same to us. QPR were hopeless. We were not much better.

If it became public that Pardew’s tactics are to strangle a game to death for 70 minutes and then try and steal it with his subs, then I would believe it. The thought of hammering a far inferior team for 90 mins making the afternoon not just more entertaining but a whole lot easier for us, doesn’t even enter his brain. We could/should have won that game by 2 or 3 goals without a problem if only Pardew had the ambition to do so. His starting line up sums him up.

Flight_Simulation_Northumbria_Flying_School_The_MagWhy on God’s green earth Pardew picked that starting line up against a team who have only won one game all season is one of the most baffling, negative, inexplicable team sheets I have ever seen. Having James Perch AND Cheick Tiote in the same starting line up, alongside Anita in the middle of the park, was totally unnecessary.

Was Alan Pardew THAT scared of Adel Taarabt? A player who is as consistent as the sun staying out in summer. If Taarabt played well last week, chances are he won’t be as good this week. That’s what players like him are like. Sure enough he was abysmal. He offered barely no threat to our defence, yet Tiote and Perch played for 70 mins until Cheick was withdrawn. Ridiculous.

Arguably those weren’t the most inexcusable factors of our starting line up. No, that honour goes to the decision to not just play a defender and holding midfielder together but to also play Jonas Gutierrez in the left wing position. Sweet Jesus Christ! The thought of this line up for a home game against Queens Park Strangers makes me want to burst out laughing in terrified bemusement. But Pardew actually did it! We had Jonas, Anita, Tiote and Perch as part of a front 6 with Cisse stuck out on the right wing. This is literally mind boggling considering the importance of a win and the quality of the opposition.

Playing the most defensive ‘wide player’ we have arguably had in our 120 year history in the advanced left wing position of a 4-3-3 is probably the LAST thing I would choose given the options available. I kid you not. I would rather we had played Sylvain Marveaux, Gab Obertan, Demba Ba, Papiss Cisse, Sammy Ameobi, Davide Santon, Shane Ferguson or Shola Ameobi in that position before Jonas Gutierrez and I am not just saying that for dramatic effect.

Yet lo and behold ‘Mr 8 year contract in the back pocket’ went and did it! Incredible. The fact the game was still 0-0 with no shots on target by the time he was dragged off was of no surprise to me or any of us whatsoever. What a waste of attacking space.

As soon as Sylvain Marveaux came on the pitch after 75 minutes of nothingness, he got himself an assist within 3 minutes. That’s THREE minutes. Just imagine what he could have done with 90 minutes to work with. He almost got himself a goal just 2 minutes after that. He literally did more  in 5 minutes than Jonas Gutierrez managed to achieve in an hour. Now I am not saying Jonas is a terrible player, I am saying if you’re going to insist on playing him, then do it in a position that suits his game because he certainly isn’t a flying winger. He hasn’t been one of those since about the year 2009. Wake the hell up Pardew.

SylvainMarveaux4In fact, why am I even wasting my time by suggesting to Pards to wake up? It’s never going to happen. This is a man who thinks we have actually been playing well recently. He has been quoted several times using the words ‘in form’ to describe our recent games. He is a madman. He must be spending his Christmas at the head of a table wearing a mad hat, sipping tea with a white rabbit and some shrunken down blonde girl next to a vanishing cat that won’t stop grinning. Pardew is on another planet to the rest of us. When he believes things like ‘we have been playing well recently’ is when he totally unintentionally exposes his standards as a manager. Only an average manager who is used to fighting relegation every season would think that what we have been churning out over the past few games is of a decent standard.

The loss at Stoke wasn’t a good performance, we lost. We lost to two soft avoidable goals and created next to nothing in chances. Our performance at Fulham wasn’t good, we lost. We lost to two soft avoidable goals and created next to nothing in chances. Our performance against Man City was better but we lost. We lost to three soft avoidable goals (whilst being ripped apart consistently) and created next to nothing in chances. It’s a recurring theme. If that theme is the definition of ‘playing well’ and ‘being in form’ with the quality of the our squad available then you’re either lying or you’re topping yourself up at your mental tea party with Alice and the twins. Sheer madness.

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16 comments
KevinBrown11
KevinBrown11

Carver should thank himself lucky it wasn't the whole stadium that was having a go at him, he should ask his loved one pardew on that one, he's totally out of touch one minute he says fans have the right to have a go at him, then when some do he gets a pet lip on, he's pathetic and no Geordie in my eyes.

Sickandtiredstill
Sickandtiredstill

Get a grip. The only person talking of abuse and insults is Carver himself. The stewards did nothing - the same people who wereremoving protest cards from kids.

Carver can dish it out so he should rxpect to take some. What next - we cant shout at a referee or players?

What kind of football matches do you attend?

NotFatFreddy
NotFatFreddy

After this great run of results his ambitious managerial career is over before it ever begins at any other football club, but alas he probably has a coaching job for life at NUFC.  Now that he is criticising the tea lady, the stewards,  and the fans...the coach driver is the only position to fall back on as he can't be Mike's tea-boy or be one of the stewards, and if he keeps it up he won't even be welcome as a fan!

1957
1957

The stress of the situation is clearly getting to him, his dream is over and he knows it. I don't know what was said and wouldn't condone personal abuse, but football is about passion for supporters and sometimes that passion spills over, Carver's excuse for Southampton I believe.

In the bizzare world of John Carver offering to explain to his 'abusers' what he was doing over a cup of tea is going to solve his problems...I don't think so. I doubt there were many supporters at the game who could understand what he was doing on Saturday, let's all pop down to the training ground and he can explain to everyone.

I don't want explanations just action, the players are better than their current performances and, even accepting Ashley's lack of investment, it is the confused tactical approach of Carver that has us within sight of relegation. Just one example, playing a narrow diamond formation (his words not mine) against a team with two pacey wingers and attacking full backs.

I really feel sorry for Carver, he is just the latest in a long line of poor choices of management at all levels in the club, but most have had the sense or ability to choose their words carefully, only Joe rivals John for spouting nonsense.

Meditative Mag
Meditative Mag

Those making this personal abuse should step back and take a good look at themselves. Criticism of professional  skills is one thing but personal abuse another. It is not easy to warm to Mr Carver. He is clearly out of his depth and a deeply poor manager. Having said that shouting horrible personal insults at a man because someone appointed him to a job he's not fitted to discharge is deeply unpleasant and says more about the insulter than it does about the manager.  Instead of attending games and shouting abuse at the man these people should stop giving the owner their cash and shaming their parents. You know the situation at NUFC. You know who the manager is. You know the team. If you do hurl horrible insults at Mr Carver after handing your money to Mr Ashley to get into the ground....you are a fool. 


A lex
A lex

"I'M not going to stand out there......." or "I can take the flak..."

Which is it , John?

Stevie Cunningham
Stevie Cunningham

Exactly what I've said davey. He could hold his head high if he showed some backbone but he's just jumped on the ashley puppet wagon

Wallsendstu
Wallsendstu

Good job nothing fazes him, otherwise he might get a tad upset. Lost the resect of the fans, the players and he has definately LOST THE PLOT. Head coach next season and he will not have to worry about the abuse as no one will be there.

Sickandtiredstill
Sickandtiredstill

Yet the same stewards were taking protest messages off kids. Seems some of them had been briefed on their matchday responsibilities!

As for JC, this latest garbage is just embarassing. We all meed protecting from him!

LeazesEnder
LeazesEnder

@Sickandtiredstill  Theft by the club of small 'red cards'....., they have overreached their rights....


Fans should refuse.... there is no Law and No legality in their actions..... take any stewards number who makes the demand, and ask their name.


This is OUR club....

NUFC Tips
NUFC Tips

@LeazesEnder @Sickandtiredstill Are there any lawyers who read The Mag website? If so, could they advise on how to take action against stewards that infringe on spporter's civil liberties?

ToonShamrock
ToonShamrock

Although we like to think of it as our club, it is in fact Mike Ashley's club. We are just paying customers, who keep coming back for more no matter what dross he serves up. Being Ashley's club and Ashley's ground, he can decide what customers are and are not allowed to bring to the event. Technically there is no law to make a person hand cards over, but they can ask you to leave if you do not give them up. It would be nice if more supporters showed some backbone and took their placards outside what the game is on - showing the whole world they will not stand for it and even protesting outside his SD stores more often. Unfortunately, Asey has no choice but to spend this summer. 40 to 50 million would be my guess after sales. Because of this, a lot of fans will think Ashley has turned a new leaf. Little will they know that spending won't be ambition, but necessity and more of the same mid table dross will follow for a few more years and the fans will keep filling the stadium...

Andgeo
Andgeo

The club doing something about it is wishfull thinking! They will do nothing as usual, or blame supporters! The right thing would be to give cardew his p45 but we all know it takes at least 12 months got that one to arrive in the post!!

Davy Jenkins
Davy Jenkins

Carver. honestly son do you want this job that much where you're jeopardising being able to live in this area for the rest of your life. you are becoming a despised figure. remember once Ashley fcks off youll be on your own. time to pick sides kidda before you burn your bridges up here forever.