Can I just say it’s floody marvellous to be on the information superhighway, joining such esteemed luminaries as Twitter, that angry ginger kid, men who love rainbows and, of course, untold hours of endless porn.

Newcastle fans are a relatively unique set of people as the one-club city is a rare phenomena and I hope The Mag (both real and cyber) can help provide a common ground for the discerning Mag to peruse, identify with and interact with, when appropriate and feeling bold.

However, I’m not assuming this is exclusive to those with their heart on Tyneside. I’m sure fans of other sides might stop by. Perhaps this will be out of curiosity, or reaching out for help or advice ahead of a forthcoming fixture in our lovely spot.

I have nothing but respect for travellers who see Newcastle as the tremendous city it is, and choose to wrap a weekend in the toon around their team’s visit here.

I have reversed the process all over the country and am happy to confirm the following: the station is about a mile from the ground, which involves a walk through the pub addled city centre. You will get no bother for wearing colours but expect banter. Once you have been well beaten, you may fall out of the ground and reverse the process with sheepish good grace. Thank you.

I also realise that the second most popular use of the internet (there are endless untold hours dedicated to the first) is for people to be nasty. To those people I also have a message: if you follow sunderland you have some grounds for this, living in an unpleasant and inferior part of our county and fulfilling the role of derby day whipping boys.

Geography has awarded you grounds for your vitriol but be warned, we find you funny and you may be laughed back to your little shanty.

Aston Villa are still despised for their graceless behaviour when we got relegated at their ground in 2009. If you are from the claret part ofBirmingham1) ignore the above ‘friendly welcome’ and 2) ha ha you live inBirmingham. I hope your bottom goes on fire and your wife gets piles.

Finally, I would like to apologise to people logging on all over the world who are currently wondering what a ‘sunderland’ is. You might eventually get an answer out of Google but I promise it’s not worth it.