England’s Euro 2012 preparations were rocked last night when it emerged that Wayne Rooney’s three match suspension was all his own fault. Previously seen footage emerged, which showed The Manchester United and England Star fouling Montenegro player Miodrag Dzudivic from behind, before kicking his legs away.

“Wayne’s suspension being his fault is news to me”, said self-employed England and Chelsea fan Terry Rodgers. “I’d just assumed his suspension was down to Sepp Blatter, or Platini, or Brussels, or the Human Rights Act, or Muslims, or Health Safety Officers, or Muslim Health and Safety officers. I’d no idea his suspension was his fault. My head’s been all over the place since I got the news, I even charged one old dear the correct rate for a job the other day – his own fault eh, who’d a thought it?”.

However, Surrey based Man U fan Ryan Knobbs took a different view. “It’s all Capello’s fault”. He should have known how upsetWaynewould be in advance of not being able to have a poppy stitched into his forehead for theSpaingame and he should have handled the boy better”.

An English manager would have done that, not some bloody Itie who seems to think an outstanding club record and a record percentage win rate in the England job gives him some sort of status here”.

“We need an Englishman, give the job to “arry Redknapp”.

Yeah we need ‘arry, no one can say he hasn’t paid his dues……

On other pages

  • Wayne to blame – ‘Roo’d a thought it?!’
  • More painful puns involving ‘Roo’ (just make it up – we do)

(…………and actually I am a poppy wearing England fan. Just a little fed up of various issues being decided not by any debate but my varying degrees of hysteria stoked up by the dafter sections of the media and the web. Just typing this by itself would be no fun!)